Hey, I just heard this, and this is crazy...

... But here's a song, so like it maybe?

"Call Me Maybe."  Though my love of all things Muppets had already let the Cookie Monster parody worm its way into my ear, I'd been doing my best to avoid this song.  After all, it was everything I hated about music - a shallow exercise in top 40 commercialism created for easy mass consumption by a third place Canadian Idol finisher.

And now that I've actually heard it, I have confirmed my suspicions that I'm a pretentious ass.  This is the best pop song since Bruno Mars' "Marry You" of last August, and the best chart topper since Cee Lo's "Fuck You" two years ago.  Yes, I'm on the record with that.

"Call Me Maybe" has that kind of pop magic where the only natural response is to smile.  I often get caught up in the intellectualism of analyzing and critiquing art - what does it say about the world, what does it say about me, etc.  So it's wonderful when a piece of art comes along that bypasses all those analytical centers of my brain and just hits my emotions.  And really, isn't connecting with your audience on an emotional level one of the most important tasks of successful art?

So why do I, general hater of cynical, slick Top 40 cash grabs, completely love this song?  Well, because it is impossible for me to think of this song as cynical.  It crosses the line of bubblegum pop cliche so thoroughly and completely that it bypasses the territory all together, landing in that rare zone of pop music that feels plain honest.  Like Meat Loaf's absurd teenage rock and roll angst of Bat Out of Hell, it's delivered with such unabashed conviction that the cliche becomes charm.

This is a time honored tradition of pop.  Think Paul McCartney.  Or the Beach Boys.  Or the Four Seasons.  None of them were afraid to sound cheesy, silly, or uncomplicated.  It's part of their charm.  It used to be part of pop music's charm.  In this age of Patron posturing and Gagaesque over-dramatics, the simplicity and honesty is the breath of fresh air that I hadn't realized I needed. 

And it's catchy and dancey as all fuck.

Before you came into my life I missed you so bad.  I missed you so bad, and you should know that, I missed you so so bad.